This is easily the hardest post I have had to write. Before I get released to talk to the pride, God always asks me to apply His words to my own life. The truth is, applying this word to my life is a continuous struggle for me. When I say continuous, I mean, I woke up this morning battling the pain of discipline. Before I go any further I want to confess something: when Paul says in Corinthians that he has a “thorn in his life”, I get it -- because I have a thorn too - lust and sex. I have done the praying, the bible plans, the celibacy, the talking about it, the accountability partner but it never gets easier for me. No matter how many of the things I do, the battle to remain never gets easier. Despite these challenges, I am full of faith that victory is assured through the pain of discipline. I am on the last third of our #TheDen90 Challenge and God has been talking to me a lot about our anchor verse. Throughout this post, I am going to be H.O.T. (Humble, Open, and Transparent) with what God is challenging me to do. It is my hope that in the embers of the fires that are my own battles, you will find the picture of a God who gives victory through the pain of discipline; that you will begin the journey to victory with renewed vigor and confidence in God above all.

In 2 Chronicles 16, Asa king of Judah had decided that in one particular battle, he was going to depend on someone other than God for victory. In doing so, Hanani the seer shares with him the error of his ways. However, before we get into verse 9, let us peek into verse 8: “were not the Cushites and Libyans a mighty army with great numbers of chariots and horsemen? Yet when you relied on the Lord, he delivered them into your hand”. WOW! I don’t know about you, but I felt DRAGGED by  this verse. In my battles with lust and sex, there are many times I have just decided to give in “because I can’t keep fighting this.” I completely forget the other victories God has given me in other aspects of my life. Like when he saved me from unemployment that lasted over 6 months. That is exactly what Asa the King of Judah does in our story, he forgets to remember. This brings us to our anchor verse. 

In verse 9, Hanani the Seer paints an interesting picture of how God works. I am going to break this verse down into three parts that I believe underscores every battle we face: 

1. God is always present: “For the eyes of the Lord range throughout the earth...”

The first thing the enemy does in a battle is he tries to get us to forget that God is always present. In the moments where I am struggling with whether or not to sleep over at that girl’s place (I mean no one will know right?), or whether or not to continue following that account (I’ll scroll by fast if anything, that works right?), I find myself forgetting what Hanani told Asa: God is present in this battle. I don’t know what your thorn is in your life. Perhaps you think, ‘well Jasiel my thorn is not as bad as yours chief’ and sure that may be true. However, “not as bad as” is a poor substitute for true freedom... but let us keep talking.

2. God strengthens in your discipline: “...to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him”

This is, I believe, the crux of this verse. So often, I find myself hustling backward: I try to be strong enough to stop falling to sex and lust. Yet, I find myself so exhausted and still failing anyhow! I got to the point where I just looked at God and said “Ok enough! Get this off me.” In all his love, God reminds me (and you) that all the strength I need comes from commitment (discipline) to him. The strength I need to make it through today is found in my commitment to him. I love this word commitment because it implies a continued state of being dedicated to something. For me, this means being committed to God over lust and sex, is an everyday, moment to moment, state of being. In this commitment there is a promise: He’ll strengthen my heart. I don’t know what your own thorn is, but I have found great freedom in the fact that I don’t have to be stronger, and better on my own. If I remain committed to him, therein lies my strength. The Bible says that by the testimony of two or three witnesses, every word of the Lord is confirmed so let’s pause here and see what Paul says in 1 Timothy 1:19. Paul reminds us that the path to “shipwreck our lives” is to neglect holding onto faith. Yet again another word signaling continuity - “holding.” This tells me that in my own battles with lust and sex, being committed to the discipline of holding onto faith is where my victory comes.  We see another example of discipline in the life of Daniel who prayed “as was his custom” even at the threat of death. Daniel realized that even if no one who knows you may be around to see you, the pain of discipline is worth even the threat of death.

3. The pain of indiscipline is greater than the pain of discipline: “You have done a foolish thing and from now on you will be at war”

Hanani the Seer shows us why it is important for me (and you) to remain committed to the pain of discipline daily. Not only was Asa going to lose the battle he tried to go get help for but he continued to be at war till he died! This blew my mind because I realized that my own continued wars with lust and sex were because of my actions. The enemy loves to put us in prisons of our own building. Even though it might feel easier to ignore the hard work that discipline requires, in the full context of our story the price is too steep...continued wars. 

I don’t know about you, but I am TIRED of having to continue battling this thorn. Jesus died that I may have life and life more abundantly so why am I still struggling? The answer lies in my disciplines. Am I disciplined in my commitment to God? My purity feels under attack everyday but I heard it said like this once “it took years to get to this point, it will take work to get out of this cycle.” The GOOD news is that we don’t have to be held captive by and to our thorns. Jesus conquered hell, sin, and the grave which encompasses literally everything: my struggles with lust, your struggle with insecurity, your cousin’s battle with addiction - everything. Commitment to discipline has been at the heart of our #TheDen90 Challenge because we know that strength comes from our commitment to the Lord. 

Today, I came to share and be H.O.T. in the hopes that even as I allow you to peek into the work God wants to do in my life and with my own thorn, you are encouraged in your own battles. Like Maryanne George says: “No matter the season, the song is the same: great is your faithfulness, great is your name.”  Allow me to encourage you today to choose the pain of discipline, of continued commitment even when everything in your body wants to do the opposite. Asa, King of Judah, is a cautionary tale for all of us today. Victory doesn’t come from aligning with the world but rather in commitment to the Lord. The Lord is always present so committing to him is always an option. It is the best one we have… I may not be completely over my own battles with lust and sex, but I woke up this morning with a commitment to get through today committing to God. In him will I find the strength not to regress. I hope you do too and as we say in Ghana “tomorrow we go again.”

Selah.